here is a collection of dreams from my journal that i've been keeping consistently since mid 2019!! obviously not every single one is included either for privacy reasons or (mostly) just because it's not that interesting. this is the cream of the crop when it comes to my unconscious lol. updated monthly if i don't forget
2019
15 october
i was in some sort of school cafeteria and they had GIANT plates of spaghetti that you had to share between, like, 5 people. i was about to eat but the other people ate it so fast there wasn't any left. i asked why they didn't leave me some and the guy next to me said it's cause i'm transphobic so i was like "wrong but ok". undyne walked into the cafeteria and said there's a tiny bit of spaghetti left and dumped it onto the plate on my table. i wanted to eat so bad i just. stuffed all of it into my mouth. then i started laughing and i laughed so hard i woke up
27 december
i commited a crime. i mean it wasnt a crime crime but in dream land it was a crime. i think it's because i had a colourful sock on me or something and i was in a school trying to hide from the teachers. the school had secret classrooms and everything. when i thought i had escaped the place the principal caught me and i was being lectured about how stealing is wrong even though i owned the sock
2020
8 march
i was in a lil village/countryside place where my cousins used to live and i was kicking a football around and then some guy in a suit with a goat head shot me with a revolver and i woke up
2 july
i had a dream i was making this meatloaf thing but it was 90% bread??? i started and then procrastinated so much on finishing it it started going moldy before it was even halfway done
2021
7 february
had a dream i was at a pride parade n they were selling red cheese but instead of being weighed in grams like you normally would they were weighed in fmg (fat milker grams). i also had a pet orca that wasnt an orca, it was a cat sized shark with legs that i named orca. i asked it to make me some instant soup n it did but it threw away 95% of the noodles n made the soup in the kettle itself
19 march
my family and i were visiting my cousins who lived in a school with some rooms renovated into stuff like a kitchen, living room, etc. i don't know how it happened but it was 2 in the morning and my cousin and i were in the bathroom. he told me to name the 5 main characters of friends "or else". i name three with great struggle and he's like "ugh" and leaves the bathroom. then my aunt and another cousin (unnecessary detail but he was emo) enter the bathroom and i try to explain my situation and that i just got fucking threatened by a child. the kid comes back in, sees his mom and is like oh shit. he runs off but comes back a minute later, he got told off and then i woke up
25 may
i was at a hotel/restaurant with a community garden thing on the side and my friend was trying to show me how to sneak into a certain spot where couples can get... intimate. we tried so hard and for so long that our parents sent a search team after us which we somehow joined without them noticing. eventually they were like "oh fuck they're right here" and just were glad they found us (or i guess we found them). the entire dream was in vietnamese. i don't speak vietnamese
10 august
a new portal game came out and it was called "potnal 8" (don't ask me about the seven other ones) and the little stick figure (like the one from portal 2) was just standing there except it had a dumptruck ass. the game had four chambers with nothing in them and the four rooms were connected so it made a loop. unfortunately that's all i know because i started laughing so hard i woke up
24 august
it was the 1950s and i was a man who was trying to get home but the road was blocked so i sent something like a digital telegram?? it wasn't a phone call. i sent it from in front of a bakery. i was like "yeah can't get home" and the person on the other side was like oh fuck. then i was in the 60s. again the road was blocked by something (i think was bags of some sort but honest to god i can't remember) and i call again but this time the bakery is a hairdresser's. the person is like "aw that sucks". repeat that all the way up to the 2010s as the store keep i calling from and the buildings around it get more modern. oh fuck i forgot to mention that during the calls it was late at night and the sky was clear so you can see the moon and stars. okay so its 2010s at night. the road is blocked once again. i call and this time i know it's mom so i'm like "yeah the road is blocked" yadda yadda yadda you know the drill. i look up at the moon and half of it breaks off and disappears and i say "... did you see the moon break in half" and my mom was like yeah. now basically everyone is looking up, thinking "oh maybe the clouds covered up half of it" but i saw it break. it wasn't clouds. then despite it being 12:50am in the dream the sun started rising but way too fast. i feel like i was the only one concerned that the sun is up in the middle of the night because everyone else was celebrating??? i started thinking about how if the moon is broken and the sun is acting weird it means the world will end soon and that thought stressed me out
2022
25 january [tw: drugs]
i, alongside three other people who were already prepared, were about to have top surgery. the nurse put me on lsd and instead of having the surgery i just had the biggest trip of my life while watching my little pony videos. the hospital was fake and when i woke up after passing out from the lsd i was SO disappointed i still had titties so then the nurse (which to be fair seemed to be the only one running the place) got us all on a bus and just. drove us home
19 february
i was on twitter and i came across this conservative spouting queerphobic bullshit so i went on his profile. in his bio there was a link to some google forms survey so i clicked the link and filled all the answers with variations of 'dick' and 'balls'
23 july
me and like. six other people lived in a house?? institution??? with this guy who had anger issues and was a bully basically. i was in the kitchen because i wanted to make sausages with cheese but i was too afraid to ask him where the plates were so i just. stood there. never got to make those sausages
22 august
markiplier announced and dropped a new piece of merch that was like a keychain of big chungus but with his head. it was very obviously 3d printed and kinda ugly but the internet went wild regardless and soon everyone wanted one
14 october
had a dream we lived in a big house and me and my family were making a homemade movie. i don't remember what it was about but it involved a church. i was the leader in all of this and was both the writer and director. we split into teams, the actors, the prop making, and the "milfs" which i think was the group name for set design. at one point a girl wanted to join in and i don't know if it was genuine or if i was trying to get her into character but i was very distrustful towards her?? because i think she played one of the villains. anyways we were making a church door out of couch pillows when i woke up
15 november
i was in art class and we got an assignment to do a poster thing for halloween. i thought "this will take 10 minutes tops" and went on my phone. soon i realised there was only five minutes left in class and i hadn't done anything so i was like OH FUCK. i try to rush it but it looks like shit (it was just a bunch of pen scribbles on a piece of notebook paper). i decide to improvise and i give my teacher a page torn out of my maths notebook with equations on it and said that "the education system is the real horror" or something like that which he accepts. also i had a weird spotify update that showed my phone in a weird font and it was permanently stuck in light mode
2023
15 april
i saw this video of this guy talking about these new apartment complexes called the sorryfunny (or something similar sounding. funny was definitely in there). he talks how it's a complex with a built in supermarket on the ground floor and about how it is "friendly for agender people" (the creators of the building were really adamant on saying this). the supermarket was built without all the shady tricks to make you buy more. he describes the apartments themselves as roomy and warm and heavenly. as i watch the video i go "man this is perfect i wanna live there" but then the guy revealed the place doesn't exist and the whole video was just a skit. i was upset until i found a second video talking about the apartment complexes called "sunnyfucky" which is the same video but evil and violent
3 june
had a dream i was talking about how nice the weather is and that somehow escalated into a nationwide hatred for the moon?? everyone wanted it GONE
27 july
i was deleting apps off my phone but every time i clicked on one of them i got transported into said app. the first one had something to with jake paul because i was in an indoor playplace about to race this middle aged woman. she completes the playplace lap in 10.8 seconds and i do it a bit faster but i'm disqualified since i forgot to blend the cabbage tucked away in a corner of the course. i'm like ok whatever and continue deleting apps. i find two that are like "watch movies online 100% free" and i delete them as quickly as i can because i could feel a Dark Presence start to appear. the last game was a simple bible app except for boars. you could talk with the boar pastor and if you pissed him off he would crash the app. i mess around with the giant holy water tub at the entrance of the boar church and delete the app
5 september
i was walking around a theatre with set pieces meant to look like a town and it was a form of social media. i read comments and like them and i'm just having a good time. i get to some guy's empty and destroyed looking stage "post" thing about how he has some older relative who is a superhero, but i couldn't read the comments because "i'm dead! sorry, guys!" and i'm like bullshit. whatever. i walk around the town some more and come across discourse where apparently someone who is Very Clearly A Child posted tommyinnit fanart and the fandom apparently isn't used to that. one post i saw was someone going "bad poems? yeah sure whatever. bad tommyinnit fanart? oh god, no. oh god, no. oh god, no." while pretending they keep taking a bit of damage as if poisoned. then i woke up
31 october
had a dream i fucked something up and as a punishment i had to go shopping with this australian "zombie" trying to kill me. thing is he wasn't even a zombie he was a just a guy in a suit who looked 23 at most. he was completely chill. just followed me around
24 december
me and two other people were putting on a five minute play. despite rehearsing many times i never bothered learning my lines so then when we were performing the actual thing i panicked and decreased my opacity with a slider and pretended to be a tumbleweed as a way of shitty improv. the audience somehow didn't hate it
2024
18 february
had a dream we lived in a hotel place thing? it was a long corridor with rooms attached to the sides. there was this kid who was a little shit. the kid and their parent came over and stood in the doorway chatting. the kid said they hate old people or something so i decided to jumpscare them with long yellow lego pieces taped to my fingers to simulate old yellowed nails. i scare the kid and they run off. i was secretly recording the whole thing because i knew they would later look it up to see if anyone else got Old Nail Jumpscared. i posted a video of the jumpscare but heavily edited to make it more like a psychological nightmare. the following day the kid comes back to investigate the scare but after i turn into a yellow lego piece and stand flatly against the wall the kid can't find me and leaves
9 march
i was hosting a house party and instead of the left kitchen wall there was a hole looking out into a garden with a pool. i was ordering pizza and i said some joke which one person didn't laugh at. i was like "ohhh youre getting the plain pizza. how dare you" and everyone thinks i'm joking. 30 mins later the pizzas arrive and one of them is just a circle of bread. no toppings. no cheese. no sauce, even. just cooked pizza dough. to make eating it even more miserable i started cutting it into extremely thin slices. the scene was playing in slow motion. ave maria started playing. everyone was watching me cut the pizza. one of them was crying
29 april
i was at this lady's house and she had a huge whute fluffy dog that loved people so she set up a game in her house. her living room had a huge carpet in it and you would stand on the edge of it like. on the floor but next to it. then on "go" you would run across the carpet and make sure her dog doesn't tackle you and give you kissies. i cheesed it by repeatedly jumping over one of the corners of the carpet. people get bored and leave and i sit down on the carpet and start playing with the dog while talking to the lady. later when i was on a tour bus i went on the lady's website and it was all about nonbinary inclusive language
27 may
a war was beginning and i had to call every british cat in the house (which was at least 6) and give them little soldier uniforms and sewing pins as weapons. i tell dad i think thats all of them but then he yells out "NO ITS NOT ALL OF THEM. TWO MORE. ONE OF THEM IS GREEN" and then i woke up
4 june
had a dream i was in this park filled with metal tubes that you could use a special rod on and itd be like a mini rollercoater for the rod. the park was divided into country sections. i couldnt figure out how to make the rod do a loop de loop so i went over to the japan section. one of the first things i noticed is a dog house in the corner with a man wearing a bodysuit the colour of egg yolk. i think lol silly attraction and i start recording him. he notices me, crawls out of the doghouse and skitters towards me full speed. that scared the shit out of me so i backed off far away. later i come back to see if yolk man is still angry at me and upon making eye contact with me he skitters at me again and wouldnt stop until i left the japan section
12 july
someone was talking about this old lady who was immortal. or like. she would kill herself and reappear as a slightly younger version of herself. there was a documentary about it but the title was insanely long and i woke up before i could hear it in full. the grandmas grandson was called robert and he was in court for some reason. he starts listing ways in which his grandma died but that eventually ended with the witnesses and jury listing them all off to the tune of "we didnt start the fire"
9 August 2024
i was watching a minecraft documentary about how bows were gonna be more like guns with more accurate aim but the japanese developers working on the feature died so they removed sprinting from the game
4 september 2024
i was rushing home and my two options were to either go the normal way or take a shortcut through the back of a restaurant bar place thing. like it sold ice cream and sandwiches and whatever. i ponder for a bit and enter through the back. i was about to get to the front exit but then i thought "wow look at me using this fine establishment as nothing but a shortcut. i should at least buy something" so i walk up to the till (i remember the building was long and the walls were painted a light orange) and see a guy preparing really thick fluffy omelettes so they can be turned into a sort of egg cake. the guy was also a nazi so he poofed out of existence. i see the unfinished omelette cake and i was like shit ok uhh and tried finishing it. i put the two layers on top of each other with nutella in the middle. a little girl tried it and said it was shit. then i woke up