2024
18 february 2024
had a dream we lived in a hotel place thing? it was a long corridor with rooms attached to the sides. there was this kid who was a little shit. the kid and their parent came over and stood in the doorway chatting. the kid said they hate old people or something so i decided to jumpscare them with long yellow lego pieces taped to my fingers to simulate old yellowed nails. i scare the kid and they run off. i was secretly recording the whole thing because i knew they would later look it up to see if anyone else got Old Nail Jumpscared. i posted a video of the jumpscare but heavily edited to make it more like a psychological nightmare. the following day the kid comes back to investigate the scare but after i turn into a yellow lego piece and stand flatly against the wall the kid can't find me and leaves
9 march 2024
i was hosting a house party and instead of the left kitchen wall there was a hole looking out into a garden with a pool. i was ordering pizza and i said some joke which one person didn't laugh at. i was like "ohhh youre getting the plain pizza. how dare you" and everyone thinks i'm joking. 30 mins later the pizzas arrive and one of them is just a circle of bread. no toppings. no cheese. no sauce, even. just cooked pizza dough. to make eating it even more miserable i started cutting it into extremely thin slices. the scene was playing in slow motion. ave maria started playing. everyone was watching me cut the pizza. one of them was crying
29 april 2024
i was at this lady's house and she had a huge whute fluffy dog that loved people so she set up a game in her house. her living room had a huge carpet in it and you would stand on the edge of it like. on the floor but next to it. then on "go" you would run across the carpet and make sure her dog doesn't tackle you and give you kissies. i cheesed it by repeatedly jumping over one of the corners of the carpet. people get bored and leave and i sit down on the carpet and start playing with the dog while talking to the lady. later when i was on a tour bus i went on the lady's website and it was all about nonbinary inclusive language